i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
