You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I did not marry a roomba.
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