o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
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You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
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I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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