I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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