I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
