ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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