some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
