Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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