I love black thongs
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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