I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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