I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
