i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
