I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I know her cup size but not her name....
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