his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
