so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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