after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
