Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
