There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
