i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
