No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
