Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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