every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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