My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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