I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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