oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
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I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
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Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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