Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
