Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
