On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
