I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
