she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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