before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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