my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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