He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
