We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
