is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize