8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
