she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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