I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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