ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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