I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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