During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
