Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize