Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
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She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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