You're so nebulous sometimes
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
