There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
