I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
