I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
