last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
A+ Viking dick
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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