What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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