Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
