Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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