Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
