Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
