the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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