I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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