Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
