So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
