Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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