areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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