I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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