its not stalking. its research.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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