She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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