Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Someone shattered a urinal.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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