I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Everyone says I win the strip club
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
