She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
