that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
